Medicated
by KennedyHarlow
Summary: Light realizes that L's quirks resemble side effects of a popular prescription drug students use to study more effectively. Convinced this is how L works so efficiently, he searches for the pills, but discovers a much darker secret that he can use to control L. Silliness. Short Story, 3 chapters. Slight OOC. Artwork provided by reader!
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter Summary__: Light notices a grungy girl in the library and wonders how she manages her marathon study sessions. She exhibits some very specific mannerisms, and Light begins to suspect she and L have the same secret weapon._

_Objectionable Material: __Prescription drug abuse. Language. Rated T._

_Disclaimer__: Death Note and affiliated characters are owned and created by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata._

_****Note: Someone sent me LITERALLY the cutest thing I have ever seen. It's a picture of L based on this story. I set it as the image for this story, but I don't think you can really see it because it's kind of small. I'm trying to figure out a way to post it somewhere so everyone can see it because I think its really adorable and funny. (If anyone has suggestions, let me know!)**  
_

**1.**

Light was sitting in the library past two in the morning. He had been doing so every night that week. This was why L was always one step ahead of him; Light had three identities, and unlike L's alter egos, they were all active at the moment. There was Light Yagami, straight A student, Light Yagami, police investigator, and or course, Kira. L on the other hand only had to be L. His technical enrollment at To-oh was not treated as a real obligation.

But Light couldn't blame all his short-comings on his studies. Even if he were free to spend all him time on the Kira case- or for that matter, on being Kira- L would probably still be beating him in both respects. L was so focused, so efficient. He noticed absolutely everything, and did so faster than anyone else. He never stopped working, never got tired. Light had to find a way to keep up with him.

The student next to Light began packing up his books, preparing to leave. Light didn't have that luxury.

He looked around the library. At this hour it was almost empty. There were a few other people at the end of the room, and nearby, a girl he recognized from other late nights. Today her head was buried in a book she held in her lap, further obscured by a fortress of empty coffee cups.

"Hey," Light said to the student next to him. "Who is that girl over there?"

He stopped packing his things and glanced in the direction Light was pointing. "I don't know. Some exchange student from the U.S."

"She's always here," Light noted.

"Yes. She must be competing with you for 'most time spent in the library.'"

Light gave a polite chuckle, but mentally rolled his eyes.

He got up and went over to the girl. She was sort of huddled in a large chair with her legs crossed up on the seat. Her books and coffee cups were piled on a small table in front of her. She had two half empty water bottles on the floor. As Light neared, he noticed she was hiding a bag of mini oreos in her lap. She was skinny and had long, stringy light brown hair that looked slightly dirty on top. The zip up sweatshirt she wore over a tank top had slid off her shoulders, so as she shifted in her contorted, hunched position, he could see the protruding bones in her bare shoulders and arms gliding beneath her skin.

"Excuse me," he said.

She looked up from her book and stared at him intensely.

"I notice that you're here every night, working non-stop."

"Oh… yeah," she said. She seemed polite but guarded.

"You never seem tired. How do you have the energy to stay so focused?"

"Umm…" She kind of smirked, as though he had missed something obvious. She glanced around, then said, "Honestly?"

Light nodded.

She waved him closer, then said in a quiet voice, "I have Adderall. It's common in the U.S. I just like to get a lot done, you know?" She paused. "Do you want any?"

"Oh… Uh, what does it do?"

"Well it… here, sit," she said motioning to the chair next to her. Light sat down and pulled the chair in close, and she continued, "It basically… it gives you a lot of energy and makes you really focused. It's kind of like watered down speed- I don't want to scare you, its not speed, it's a prescription drug."

He looked her over. The margins of her book were scrawled with frantic looking notes, and she had pages and pages of work in front of her. She certainly was efficient… Then he noticed the half bitten mini oreo sitting on the table in front of her… and the crumbs gathered in the binding of the book… all the cups of coffee. She was touching her mouth, sort of licking her fingernails as if she desperately wanted to bite them but wouldn't let herself. And she had dark circles under her eyes from this drug that allowed her to never sleep.

All these familiar mannerisms! On first glance, nothing about her resembled L, but after a closer look, it was all there. There was something distinctively L-ish about her.

Suddenly, Light was desperately interested in this Adderall. "I think I would like some," Light said. "But can I ask you something about it? Please don't take offense, but is this the reason you have so many cups of coffee in front of you?"

"Sort of. It makes you lose your appetite, so I drink coffee instead of eating."

"It makes you want coffee?"

"Yeah, and maybe some sweet foods. I always get nauseous and feel like I can only manage to eat sweet things. You know how meth addicts always want sugar? It's pretty much the same thing- except its not meth, I swear."

So this girl only ate sweets but was still unusually skinny? Everything was lining up.

"What about the way you're sitting?" He asked. She wasn't crouching on her feet like L, but she was certainly hunched over, as though she couldn't bring herself to settle down and sit comfortably.

"Yeah, it makes you feel really… intense, so its like all your muscles tighten up. You can sit in a stiff position for hours and not even notice it."

Light nodded. "Do you feel 'intense' in other ways? Mentally, perhaps?"

She laughed. "If it makes any sense, you feel intense in every way possible. You feel like… everything you think is… the fucking best idea in the world."

* * *

The next night, in the privacy of his bedroom, Light took out the two pills the girl had given him. He set them on his desk and examined them. They were both powders in capsules, but one, she had explained, could be snorted if he so desired. It would work faster that way. The other apparently had to be swallowed because it would only be metabolized once the acids in the stomach broke it down.

"Are you going to used those to help you study?" Ryuk asked.

"No Ryuk," Light said. "I'm going to test them. I suspect this is the secret to how L is so productive."

Light emptied one of the capsules onto the cover of one of his textbooks. He took a straw out of his pocket and cut off a portion about three inches long. He held it to his nose and used it to suck up the small mound of powder.

"How do you feel?" Ryuk asked several minutes later.

"I. Feel. AMAZING."

Light spent the night doing his homework. All of his homework. He fucking loved his homework. Every problem was a little adventure that made him smile when he got the answer right. Problem after problem, they filled the page in neat columns. He loved the sound of the paper crinkling as he flipped to a fresh sheet. He loved the scratching of his pencil on the paper.

He worked on his computer, his fingers tapping across the keys so quickly he could swear it sounded more like vibration than typing. His fingers were dancing. His face was smiling. And he just knew he was writing the best fucking paper of his life.

When he had done all the school work he could justify, he started rearranging his bookshelves, and by five in the morning, he was completely satisfied with the way he had arranged everything in his room. He knew where every one of his possessions was. That aspect of his life was completely in order.

He lay on his bed, finally beginning to feel achy and tired.

"Hmph," he grinned smugly to himself. "What L is able to do doesn't seem nearly as impressive with this," he said, holding up the remaining capsule.


	2. Chapter 2

_Note:__ I probably should have mentioned this in the summary or in notes to the first chapter, but this is not going to be a serious piece. This story is going to be short, and I think it falls somewhere between dark humor and nonsense. Characters might be slightly out of character- it's hard for me to guess how they would act in this unlikely scenario._

_Chapter Summary__: Light slips L a roofie so he can ransack his room, looking for the stash of pills he's sure is hidden there. In the process, he makes a startling discovery._

_Objectionable Material: __Prescription drug abuse, and roofies. Rated T._

_Disclaimer__: Death Note and affiliated characters are owned and created by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata._

**2.**

Light was thrilled the next time he was called to the Kira team's meeting place. He walked briskly down the street towards the hotel L had specified. Ryuk hovered behind him, suspended by his bat-like wings.

"So what's your plan? Are you going to take more of those pills so you can keep up with L?" Ryuk asked.

"No," Light said, placing his hands casually in his pockets. "For this plan I will need your help. Would you be willing to make a deal, in exchange for some apples?"

"Hm…"

"I'll get you several exotic varieties so you can try them all."

"Alright," Ryuk agreed.

"Tonight I'm going to ask L to have a drink with me after everyone has finished working. My original idea was to get him drunk, but he will certainly not let his guard down to allow something like that. Instead, I need you to drop this in his drink."

"What is it?"

"It's a date rape drug."

Ryuk made a grim expression. "What are you going to do to him?"

"Relax. I just need him out of the way so I can search his room. He will probably inspect the drink to make sure I haven't done anything to it, so what until he seems to have concluded it's safe."

* * *

When everyone began leaving for the evening, Light stood up and walked over to L, where he was crouched on one of the hotel room chairs looking at the forensic lab report on the items sent by the second Kira.

"Ryuzaki, I've been so focused on school and this case, I haven't been able to behave like a normal college student at all. You don't get to relax much either. I was thinking we could go to a bar tonight."

"A bar?" L said, craning his neck to look back at Light with his wide, dark eyes.

Matsuda closed the door behind him as he left. They were alone in the room.

"Don't you think that would be fun? Most young people try to social every now and then. Besides, we could talk and get to know each other better."

"Yes, that does sound like a good idea," L said. "Raito-kun rarely gets to have fun, and I think I would enjoy this as well. It would be a good way to take our minds off the case."

Light went to the mini bar and took out a bottle of rum. "I'm glad you agree," he said, setting two glasses on the table and placing a few ice cubes in each. He filled them half way with coke, and then topped them off with liquor.

L hesitated, eying Light as he swirled the drinks to mix them. "If we're going to a bar, why are we drinking now? Wouldn't it make more sense to drink at the bar? That seems to be the purpose of such an establishment…"

"Hah, Ryuzaki," Light chuckled. "No one goes to a bar completely sober. You haven't gone out many times have you?"

"No," L said. "I don't suppose I have."

He took the drink and inspected it, then watched while Light added more rum to his own drink.

L took a sip and then scowled at the bitterness. He set the glass on the small side table to his right.

"Ryuzaki," Light said quickly. "I've been meaning to tell you… I think there may be more than two Kira's. There may be three… or four."

L looked up at him, unable to conceal his expression of shock. In truth, Light had thought no such thing. It was total nonsense, but it would certainly keep L focused on what Light was saying, rather than what was going on with his drink.

* * *

As planned, they never made it to the bar. L was passed out on the floor in an intoxicated heap while Light searched fervently through his room. He started with the obvious places, like the medicine cabinet and the desk drawers, but L's stash of pills was nowhere to be found.

"What are you going to do?" asked Ryuk, looking down on Light.

"I'm going to dump out the powder and replace it. A few on the top will just be cut with a benign substance, so he won't feel the difference right away. The ones on the bottom will be totally useless. He'll figure it out eventually, but it will also take him a while to find replacements because these drugs are not common in Japan. I'll use that time to take him down."

But the plan would only work if he could find the pills. Where were they? He began checking coat pockets…

"Ryuk, put your head in the safe and tell me if there's anything in there."

"Nope. It's empty."

Light noticed a duffle bag at the back of the closet.

"Hah," he said, pulling it out. "This must be it."

He opened the bag… but what he found was not Adderall.

"What the-" Light dropped the bag. He stared into it, in shock. "Oh…my…_God_!"

"Heh, heh," Ryuk chuckled. "This guy's hardcore."


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter Summary__: L has a very serious secret. One that will get him taken away until he can learn to behave himself._

_Objectionable Material:__ Serious drugs. Crude language. Rated T._

_Disclaimer__: Death Note and affiliated characters are owned and created by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata._

**3.**

That night when the task force arrived, L was pacing around the room with his hands in his pockets, clenching and releasing his fists repeatedly.

"Out!" he shouted as they opened the door. "Everybody out except Light!"

The team was taken aback.

"Uh… Ryuzaki?" Matsuda said hesitantly.

"I said get out!" L shouted.

They retreated, and Light stood alone, smiling smugly with his arms crossed.

L grabbed him by the collar and shouted, "Where is it?"

"Where's what?" Light laughed.

"You know damn well what!" L clenched the material in his hand and Light coughed slightly, still grinning. "What did you do to it?" He demanded.

"Oh…" Light said in a mockingly friendly voice. "You mean… your crystal meth, you fucking CRANK ADDICT!"

L was shaking now, looking desperate. "Shut up! Just shut up!" He shouted, clinging to Light's shirt. "What did you do to it?" He pleaded.

Light couldn't stop grinning. He had been so thrilled when he realized what he was looking at in L's secret duffle bag. The small glass pipe with the bottom of the bulb all burned and discolored; the plastic bag full of what looked like tiny shards of glass. He had confiscated everything, including the lighter and the pipe, which he tossed in a dumpster on the way home. He had thought it would take L a while to replace Adderall, but this was a whole other level.

"It's gone," he smiled.

L was trying to calm himself. "Okay," he said, breathing deeply. "Just give it back. I'll do whatever you want. I'll dismiss you as a suspect."

"You're probably lying."

"Well what do you want? I'll do anything you want. Do you want money?"

Light thought to himself, standing tall now that L had stopped clutching him by the collar. "Will you get down on your knees and blow me right here?"

"Wh- what?" L looked distraught, but began sinking to his knees nonetheless.

No. Freaking. Way.

"Will you…" This was not an opportunity to be missed. "Will you let me draw cat whiskers on your face, and wear a party hat while you do it?"

L looked up at him. "I… I don't have a party hat."

"Oh my GOD," Light laughed, backing away. "Are you serious! THAT'S the problem you see in this scenario?"

L stood up. Light expected him to be angry and humiliated, but he was too distracted by the meth situation to care. He was frantically glancing around, as if delusionally hoping it might be some place in the room.

"Come on…" The desperation in L's voice was almost painful to listen to. "Where is it?"

"I flushed it down the toilet."

Look of horror spread across L's features. "You flushed it down the TOILET? No…" he pleaded. "No, you didn't. Please tell me you didn't."

"I've already spoken to Watari about your… problem," Light said. He whipped a brochure out of his pocket. "And we found the nicest rehab for you…"

"I can't believe you… I can't fucking believe you!"

"Look, L, isn't it nice? You'll like it. They have arts and crafts…"

"You son of a bitch…"

"And after you make some macaroni pictures, you can swim in the infinity pool…"

"I'm going to fucking kill you…"

"Oh, and my absolute favorite," Light grinned. "Positive thinking' workshops… where you write down things about yourself that you like. You sit in a circle, and at the end, you share with the rest of the group. It's mandatory. Every other night."

Light looked at L who had collapsed onto the floor- whether it was in in rage, withdrawal, or surrender, he couldn't tell. L wasn't speaking anymore, only moaning. While he was confronting Light, Watari had been packing up his belongings getting ready to ship him off to the treatment center.

Watari came out of the bedroom. "I believe its time," he said.

Light knelt down next to L. He wanted to laugh or exclaim 'in your face,' but instead he patted L's hair gently and satisfied himself with, "It's okay L. We're all here because we care about you."

* * *

_Hahahaha: Meth Note._

_Thanks for reading :)_

_The End_


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